Lily's story
by nen
Summary: A short sad story of Lily. A new point of view to what actually happened. Not for people who wish not to read that the couples love might not have been everlasting..


A/N: A short very sad story (to my opinion) And I do want to warn all of you there that if you don't want to read anything else than of the wonderful love of the couple then you shall be dissapointed. I myself do not want to feel this way of the two, and actually did not write this to be the right way of things. But then again what has Rowling told us? I wrote this for myself and for the thoughts that are running through my head. I posted this here because I am in desperate need of feedback and I needed to tell someone my thoughts. Arggh, just read it already.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing  
  
Lily, a lonely young woman of seventeen, was desperate. She was tired of crying herself to sleep every night, she was tired of talking to herself, she was tired of listening to Nearly Headless Nick's sobbings. She was tired of being alone.  
  
Lily was not ugly nor beautiful. She had light red hair with a few streaks of blond. Her freckles that reflected the warm color of her hair were a lovely contrast to her emerald green eyes. Her figure was skinny and often she had a trouble finding long enough clothing that did not sag at essential parts.  
  
Lily attended Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. Every fall she left home a loving mother, a picture of a long since deceist father and her older sister Petunia whom she had never really had time to get aquainted with. Their household of women was very independent and sometimes Lily found herself wondering if life would be easier with them.  
  
Being one of the few muggle borns at school Lily had never quite found herself at home there. Many had tried to start a friendly conversation with her but due to her shyness she could never think of anything to say but merely nod her head. In a few years time she had developed the social status equivalent of furniture. She had been accepted to be there, but time to time hardly even her name was remembered.  
  
Life was a daily routine for Lily. Her only joys being the rare letters from home which told her of her mothers everlasting love.  
  
Until one day, almost straight from a sappy romance movie, she fell over James Potter's leg on her way to class. Having just visited the library her lap was full of books and notes, and because of the circumstances they flew in a beautiful arch right down the stairs.  
  
James being a perfect gentleman of the third generation was up and ready to help. When Lily finally rose up scuffling a few of her books once again to her lap she was greeted by a big grin from the boy's direction. His dark messy hair and obviously sturdy built body got Lily to think of angels. She smiled to him too and said with a clear and beautiful voice: "Thank you."  
  
The boy nodded and bowed: "Your most welcome", he rose up taking the girl's right hand: "James Potter, a pleasure to meet you Miss.." Lily smiled once more, her dream was coming true: "Evans, Miss Evans, I mean Lily Evans." James obviously didn't recognize her: "You must be new here, which house are you in?" he asked sounding sincerely interested. "No I'm not new, not really. I'm in Gryffindor and I have to be getting to my class", she was smiling no more. " Well what a coincidence, so am I. And if you don't mind I might just escort you to the wonderful world of herbology", he half asked half said. Lily took his arm to mark her acceptance and they started marching of towards the yards James still carrying some of the girl's books.  
  
The relationship between the two at first was full of excitement and thrill. There was not a day in the week, when Lily would not find her heart racing with her mind in beautiful pictures of the future. And when she finally realised that the racing was not due to affection or love but actually fright and stress it was too late. She did not want to go back to her old self, and she was afraid James would leave her alone again.  
  
Their first kisses had been akward and forced for Lily. She would pucker up her lips and close her eyes trying to suck in the boys warmness. But she just couldn't reach that feeling, she couldn't force herself. The problem was in herself.  
  
Lily thought that in time she could get used to the boy's pranks and humour. But even in the passing months his vulgar jokes just wouldn't make her laugh from the inside. To everyone else she showed a happy Lily, a Lily with a perfect life and love, but no one knew how she really felt. She was a total mess inside. A few times she was very near to leaving him, but then reminded herself of the time before James, the times with no human contact.  
  
Finally after their beautiful wedding on their very first night together (A/N I know, not very probable, but possible) Lily was sure everything would change . She was positive that a person she would let inside her, a person she was in such close contact with would finally win her heart and soul. All her hopes were on this one night. And for what? It was a catastrophe. The holy ceremony felt to Lily very cold and slimy and dirty indeed. Even the multiple orgasms of her newly wedded husband couldn't help her bring her spirit up.  
  
When nine months of that horrible revelation had passed Lily gave birth to a son. After a few minutess with Harry alone she realised that all of this was not because of her disability to feel. For immediately she loved her son, she loved him with all her might, and because Lily did not love James, Harry was saved. 


End file.
